11 June 2011

My Crazy, Beautiful Life!

     Well, my life lately has been anything other then boring! lol Life has been crazy- actually, that's an understatement! Having returned from an inpatient eating disorder facility almost 3 months ago(Wow- it seems like so long ago!), I have been "going, going, going!" This ironically isn't very unusual for me- well, at least when I'm healthy! When I was severely sick from Anorexia I wanted to "do everything" but didn't have the energy to even climb up the stairs at times. It's so amazing to be able to view these memories as the past!Now I have ENERGY!! I do wish I had more of it, though! But, I'm like a battery- I have to be recharged every once in a while to restore my energy.
    I just started college at Kent State Stark for nursing. Ironically, I never thought I would've heard myself say these words 3-4 years ago & beyond. I hated doctors- actually hate is an understatement for me! I wanted to "fix" everything on my own & I also thought that seeking help defined me as "weak". I've learned that the opposite is true, but that doesn't take away the significance of these beliefs to me at the time. Nursing is my passion- one of many!! ACH brings a smile to my face! I can't help but love that place! They've saved my life multiple times, performed my Scoliosis back fusion, restored my health, etc. There is so much passion in this hospital- such growth! My dream is to work there as a Pediatric nurse- to bring smiles & fun to the hurting- those who don't want to be in the hospital & even those who do(which to me, is rare! I've currently been volunteering here for the past year and a half or so. I see so much beauty in this place- I can feel God's presence & here I truly "sparkle"! 
   College is not at all what I expected. I'm taking summer classes to help me out. I was required to take Algebra, so I figured I'd take it this summer semester since it's only condensed by 2 wks- so it's not too intense. Well, I was required to take another class, so I chose College Writing I since I thought it would come easy. I had NO idea what I was getting myself into!! It's originally a 14 week class & I'm doing it in 5!! Insanity! I very much dislike history- there are too many dates & names for me; well, that's alot of what we're doing! It's definitely a stretch for me! There's alot of class discussion, also. We're expected to be empathetic so it works out that I learned that from my wonderful staff at Selah House! I would've had NO idea what empathy was had I not gone to Selah! Also, in this class it's a very strong challenge for my "black & white thinking" which is a huge struggle for me. It turns out this class is good for me, just not easy like I was anticipating! lol I've learned once again that life isn't easy- life is an adventure, which I do love! 
  I've also been working a new job for the past month or so- I like it but it's different to have so little time on my hands! I miss shopping!! heehee For those of you who don't know me, I LOVE fashion! I was hired at Forever 21 but walked out of the opportunity- it wasn't at all what I had hoped! It was definitely a painful thing to do, though, as I thought it would be the "perfect job" for me; I mean, fashion, my favorite store, helping others find their own style & helping them to express their personalities through fashion, etc. That's not at all what it was! God closed this door, but He opened another one surprisingly quickly! 
   Oh, there's so much to say!! Life is so exciting! I never knew there were so many adventures & opportunities in this world- let alone in Ohio! jk heehee Life, however is by no means easy! Every day is a battle for me- life in recovery is a battle. Actually, life in general is a battle! I do love a challenge, however! 
   I hope that you, too can see the beauty in the world- even from trials! I am imperfectly perfect & I love it! I don't have to be anyone other then myself! I love it! Well, now this girl has to go write several essays- oh joy!! ;) heehee I am awaiting & moving toward my next adventure!


scott said...

So cool to read your thoughts about your journey. For years I felt like understanding and relating to you was out of reach, out of my control. I LOVE being able to talk to the real you again! Your smile brings glory to God. Keep smiling!!

from ashes to beauty said...
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