21 December 2011

Love Unending

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3
"And Jesus said unto them ... , "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to younder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you."
Romans 1:17

            God, you never cease to astound me; how can I not live with joy with you right beside me at all times, even when I don’t feel you? YOU are my hope, my strength, my everything; with You I can do all things!

            Well, my twin sister is officially across the world. We may be worlds apart but I can still feel her presence in my heart. Memories I will never forget from childhood on roll through my mind and keep me connected to my other half. God reminds me that she is going to be ok and that worry and fear is not from Him. I miss her contagious laughter, her spunkiness- all things that I’ve experienced and now it’s time for the rest of the world to experience. Nothing on this earth is mine.
            My first full time college semester is officially over!! I’m so excited but yet hesitant to breathe because it all seems to be surreal and a dream. One year ago I was near rock bottom once again controlled by the tight deadly grips of Anorexia; a year later I am nearing the hectic and difficult journey of a student nurse. Now try and tell me that there is not a God; the only explanation for my life is a miracle- nothing of this world.  After many temptations to turn back after believing lies that I don’t have what it takes to be a nurse I am confident in the fact that I may not have what it takes, but my God- my Creator possesses everything I need and so much more! On my own I can do nothing. That’s right devil; I might be helpless on my own but I have a relentless Warrior fighting for my every moment who will never let me go. I may abandon Him and try to get through life on my own strength but my Warrior will move mountains and do whatever it takes to win me back. We are an immovable and indestructible team; hate us as much as you like because you’ve already lost! Just as in sports, I’m giving my entire self- body and all- to compete against you.
            I take no credit for anything done in my life; I would like to but would be living a lie. I went into this semester with tons and tons of burdens weighing me down but came out more than successful not because of anything I’ve done but because of the unexplainable love of my King. All of my classes had to be earned with a bare minimum of a C. I remember the day I received my first score in Chemistry- the lowest grade I’ve ever received in my entire life- and I wanted to give up more than words can describe. Let’s just say that was a wake-up call for me; I put everything of my own power into each class and God did the rest. In Chemistry I was hoping for at least a minimum of a C which in itself seemed impossible when I focused on my burning score but God once again exceeded my expectations. I am officially onto my next set of classes with none needing to be retaken; God, you are insane! My insane goal which I thought was impossible but was hopeful for turns out to be possible and almost tangible- me and God together are insane and undefeated! “Why not go big and give it your all?” has been my lifelong motto. God can do anything. “You are only limited by your own fears and inaction”. “Fear is what stops you...Courage is what keeps you going”. I give God ALL the glory for everything in my life; in the blink of an eye He could have redirected my path.
            The joy and hope of Christmas is a beautiful time! On Saturday God has blessed me with the opportunity to pass out gifts to patients at Akron Children’s who aren’t fortunate enough to spend Christmas in the comfort of their own homes. I am beyond excited and cannot wait to spread hope and joy to the hopeless and sick! Beauty never ceases to surround me!

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