09 January 2012

Beauty in the Unknown

I can’t think of a better way to end my Winter break than Steelers vs. Broncos playoff game! I have had the most amazing break; above and beyond what I could’ve dreamed! My God still never ceases to knock me off of my feet in amazement!

On Saturday I was privileged to go hunting with the men of my family; let me just say I fit right in! lol It brought back so many memories of my childhood; of camping in a tent when I was a toddler on our land down south, swimming in the river, tubing in Canada, and “roughing it” whenever we could- now those were the days! I’ll admit, I do have a “girly” side to me, which I tried to hide and stuff down when I was younger, but it is mostly drowned out by my daredevil side. My first tea party ended in a farting and burping competition as I was never too fond of “proper and ladylike etiquette”; I would’ve rather been outside getting dirty! I truly believe that God created everyone unique as I’m still to come across one just like me; not even my twin and I are the same! I used to believe I was just like everyone else and not unique in any way; uniqueness had a negative connotation in my mind. When I did receive compliments, it was constantly physical aspects being noticed which wounded my already broken heart to the core. “What was wrong with me?” I asked myself, “Why is my heart invisible?” I have found that beauty comes from within and uniqueness only adds to that beauty. I am no longer ashamed of my uniqueness as an individual which makes like so much more beautiful! 

Sunday morning we were privileged to have Robert Rogers speak of his miraculous testimony of losing his entire family yet to this day is still standing strong; having never turned to unhealthy measures to cope nor struggled with depression. He truly lost it all but God was enough to get him through. He inspired me in ways words could never begin to do justice; God truly is the Healer!! When I look at all these incredible miracles God has performed, such as Bethany Hamilton, Robert Rogers, Tim Tebow and so on I tend to minimize myself and want to throw my own testimony away; how could God use something so small and insignificant  for impact of any kind? My dream of being a famous athlete fell short; a part of me still envies Tim Tebow for his incredible impact on the world through sports. I haven’t set world records and the list goes on and on; however I choose to believe TRUTH that in all things God deserves credit. Tim Tebow is merely allowing God to work through him and is no different from me- a mere, insignificant human being falling short of perfection.
Sunday evening was possibly one of the most exciting times of my life; I think I literally screamed myself sick! Lol My man Tim Tebow did absolutely amazing; he started out weak but came back strong! Never in my life have I seen such an inspirational athlete whose life truly radiates Christ; I am drawn to the image of Christ in him (but also his athleticism!). Critics ridicule and tear him to shreds yet he never denies the name of Jesus. They say he can’t throw; but who threw a 316 yard pass?! Seriously?! There’s no interpreting the God of the universe who never ceases to amaze beyond words! Sports will always be a part of me which I got to embrace; the flashbacks of watching every Buckeye’s, Cavs, etc. games with my dad while screaming and acting crazy brings a smile to my face. Sports will always bring out a different side of me which was hidden for so long but is now recovered. 

Today was my first day back at college and I’ll admit I was nervous! The first day is always the worst as nothing can prepare for the unknown. God once again blew me away today! I was most nervous for my Algebra class since I knew absolutely nothing about my professor nor any fellow classmates. While I was waiting for the class prior to finish, I heard a sweet familiar voice call my name and then another familiar face after another filled the classroom; I could only stand in awe of my God and there was not one ounce of doubt that this was a divine moment along my journey planned by God. What began as my biggest fear ended in laughter and excitement which proved to me that fear is not from God but is intended to keep us from Him! 

While at college I was asked to run the surgery desk at ACH in the afternoon which I just couldn’t turn down! As soon as class ended I headed towards the highway to my destination and actually made it in time to eat a quick lunch & change into my uniform. I’ve never felt so at home in a hospital before Akron Children’s; every day amazes me of the beauty of this life! Interacting with the families is the highlight of my “job” as people bring a smile to my face. Encouragement, as much as I like to deny, is a part of the true essence of me; my dream is to turn darkness into beauty. I wish I had “all the right words” to say to the hurting families to help them through the trials of life, but I don’t. I trust that despite this fact, God can still use me to bring beauty amidst darkness. 

Sports were the icing to the cake of my day- a day full of beauty radiating from every corner! I can’t wait for the adventures tomorrow will bring!

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