05 February 2012

The Sweet Smell of Victory

Today is the big day…the day of the Super Bowl. It’s hard to believe that exactly one year from this day I was in quarantine at Selah House after my second long, miserable ER visit in Indiana. I remember this day all too well; while everyone else was partying and enjoying the Super Bowl, I was cooped up in the dietitian’s office, too sick to be exposed to the world. However, I wasn’t completely oblivious to the action going on in the game as I could hear whooping and hollering coming from the living room of Selah House; and then there was my sweet brother who stayed on the phone with me and was my personal TV, explaining to me every move of the game. For me, this was such a sweet time of bonding between the two of us; I felt so connected to the game as the sweet voice of my brother, filled with animation and excitement, was my own personal broadcaster and put an image into my mind of each play. God’s ways are mysterious; instead of having the TV showing me the picture of the Super Bowl game, I had my own brain as my TV and my family as the broadcasters. I’ll never forget the end of the game, when the team I was rooting for WON the Super Bowl; as the last play was made, I “entered the living room of the house I’d grown up in, sitting next to the ‘not so into the game’ females and the animated and yelling men sitting in front of the TV” as we all screamed together, despite the fact that I couldn’t see anything of the game! Although my family and I were many miles apart, we were connected and sitting right next to each other in our hearts.
One year from that day feels like a complete dream; each time I wake up I am defying the odds once put before me. My God gets all the credit because there’s absolutely NO other explanation for my life, although the pride and selfishness in me would LIKE to take the credit! I write this as a college student on the journey I once said I’d never go on, but several years later the God of the Universe changed my heart and brought me to my knees. He removed my past “as far as the east is from the west” and gave me new eyes full of excitement for the medical field; what I once saw through the eyes of hatred and punishment I now saw through eyes of joy and passion. I am following the call to become a nurse, the one thing I said I would have absolutely nothing to do with. As each day goes by, I stand in awe of my God who took me from near death to life full of more than my small mind could ever even begin to imagine; Several months after returning from inpatient eating disorder residency I was enrolled in my first semester of college in the Summer of 2011, onto my first and most stressful full semester of classes I’d been told I would fail if I took them at the same time, member of the Dean’s List after completing all of my classes, onto my third semester of college leading to where I am now- preparing to apply in less than a month for the Fall 2012 Nursing Program. When I told the professionals my plan, I was warned against doing so due to impossibility of even the student in greatest health, nonetheless a student currently recovering from the grips of Anorexia; however, when they told me this they underestimated the King of the Universe living inside of me to whom all credit is given. My God specializes in the impossible and only through Him miracles are performed. Today, as I get ready for church, I am reminded of the fact that this life is not my own and I surrender to the Almighty King of the Universe through whom all goodness comes; my evening may not be spent in front of the TV, surrounded by some of my favorite friends and watching the Super Bowl like my own self planned but may instead be spent with my head in the books studying for my two very first Microbiology and Organic Chemistry tests of which play a large part in determining my Fall semester. Wherever God places me, I am content because the God sized hole inside of my heart has been filled and the Holy Spirit lives inside of me. Whatever the future may bring, I am content because I have everything I need.

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