15 March 2012


Hello world; oh how I’ve missed you! To see spring blooming before my very eyes brings me unspeakable joy and makes my heart skip a beat; oh how I love feeling the wind brushing against my bare skin and whipping through my hair. I feel God’s presence right beside me, even though I don’t deserve it nor do I always take advantage of the fact that the God of the Universe sincerely wants to help me through each and every moment. Spring break has arrived yet I feel like this semester has just begun and my world has become a blur except for the many words typed in my text books; college truly seems like a dream and each time fear and doubt enters my wandering mind, it is swept away by reinforcement that this is where I am meant to be. Never in my life have I felt so fulfilled then after I surrender my all to Christ from whom true success comes; He takes the burdens off of my shoulders so that I can focus on loving others- what He has called me, in fact the world, to do. Our lives are not based on how much we have but how much we love.
I feel like a walking text book; nursing school is a challenge yet I am not defeated because I am not the one fighting. All I can do is stand in awe of the King as we journey through life together; I cannot take credit for any accomplishments because I would be living a lie. I am here to tell you from experience that with God by your side, you cannot be defeated; losing is not in His vocabulary. When God calls you into something completely over your head, rejoice because when we are weak then He is strong! Weakness, contrary to my former beliefs, is beautiful because only then is God’s true power made known- a power beyond this world’s comprehension. I want God’s will more than I want anything; I am not giving up no matter where this competition may lead me. It’s scary to relinquish control of my life over to God, but perfect love casts out fear; there is no fear in love. I have applied to the Nursing program and all I can do is wait in complete surrender; I have no confidence in myself but complete confidence in the One who lives inside of me. I am not afraid of where this life may take me- bring the fires, bring the rain because through them I am made stronger; I can’t turn down a challenge! I am not fighting for myself, but for those God has placed on this earth for me to reach and to love; my heart burns with passion for the lost and the hurting because I was one of them.
My heart aches to the deepest depths within me as I see those overtaken by the cruelty of sin; those living a lie that this life is hopeless. This is the reason I write; to prove to them that absolutely no sin is beyond God’s redemptive power. I feel God pulling at my heart to publish to the world the relentless pain He has redeemed me from; I want merely to be a vessel for His words to pour out of. Yes, this is a scary step for me, but once again, perfect love casts out fear; I am not afraid when God is by my side. As I see lives fading away before my very eyes, I am convinced that neither life nor death shall separate me from His perfect love. Wherever He leads me, I will stay by His side, where no one can shatter me. There is only one way to freedom and that is through complete surrender each and every moment; freedom comes through Christ alone who defeated death for our sins. He is the true superstar and the quarterback of my life through whom no mistakes can ever be made.
It has been almost a year since I departed from the doors of Selah House into a life of freedom and beauty beyond compare; God has redeemed me and He will you also- all it takes is one question. Love was the key which unlocked my damaged and shattered heart, but surrender is what keeps it forever beating.
As I wrap up my thoughts, I want to leave you with a song which speaks to the depths of my heart as it talks about being romanced by the King. My life belongs to the greatest lover of all time who doesn’t want anything from me- only love. This is the greatest romance of all time!

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