A Relentless Fight

“Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me (Luke 9:23).’”

Insane—this will most definitely never change but consistently remain true about my very essence driven by a relentless need for adventure and spontaneity. Today, as I sat studying, was mercilessly haunted with the faces of dying people worldwide desperately needing the “life of the flesh”—blood.  Despite the fact that I hate the overcoming sensation of syncope (fainting) which occasionally consumes my recently pierced body post-blood donation, I anxiously approached upon this very atmosphere consumed by blood, needles as thick as pencils and chairs sometimes viewed as deathbeds. Saving lives, qualifying my mere essence as heroic, is vastly beyond worth the excruciating side effects maintained, not to mention free food! With only an hour to spare as well as numerous college students ahead of me also seeking to save lives, stress overtook my sole existence; waiting…and waiting did not come easy or without hesitation but success was achieved after but eight minutes from the moment the gigantic needle pierced my monstrously popping veins filled with the “life of the flesh”. Since time was of the essence, my utterly stubborn self exempt from a pint of blood ran and walked like “a wild man” across campus (passing those still maintaining every pint of blood manufactured by their body) and up three flights of stairs in order to avoid tardiness of my next class—no, it was not the most convenient time to lose a pint of blood but living selflessly requires sacrifice. I can’t stop looking at the deep hole now partially scabbed over, reminding me of the indescribable feeling of the pain endured to see as many as three lives  saved.

Whoever said nursing school would take over your life was absolutely and undeniably correct, I have come to find these past three weeks; I have had to reframe my mind to think as a nurse and learn the testing style and routine of what has been declared as the hardest possible undergrad available. The journey is by no means easy in any essence but God sustains my legs when they only want to crumble beneath me. Stress has become a part of my normal microbiota and coffee my lifeline to stay awake and keep fighting. As I sit in the simulation lab every Wednesday, learning as well as attempting new nursing procedures, am blown away by the grace and inconceivable power of my God and Mighty Warrior to whom all credit belongs—my strength is nonexistent but manifested by the Man who moved mountains and created the universe. As I seek to find the balance between nursing school, publication of my God-written story and a social life of any kind, as well as sanity, am left in complete surrender at the foot of the cross where all sin was exposed and Christ-like perfection attainable. Cling relentlessly to God’s promises and absolutely nothing will be beyond your grasp. For those curious about the current state of my book, it is almost completely finished on my part but I am still waiting on some minor details to be worked out; prayer is beyond appreciated and always worthwhile—words can never even begin to do justice the gratitude overtaking my being for every prayer interceded!